Barb Rumson, author and educator

GOMER, THE HICCUPPING BEAR

By

Barb Rumson

A Canadian bear


Gomer, the big black bear shuffled through the deep, dark, dank mountainous forest.
He thrust his colossal head from side to side.
He stopped.  He sniffed.  Then he snorted.
Suddenly, Gomer hiccupped.
He tipped forward.
He gave himself a shake-shake-shake.
He stood up on his strong hind legs and backed up against a huge tree.
He slipped and slid as he inched backward towards the tree.
Gomer’s broad, bulky back was now flat against the tree.
He wiggled his shoulders from side to side.
He rubbed-rubbed-rubbed his furry back against the tree’s bark.
He stopped.   He sniffed.  He straightened up and roared “Ahhhhh!”
Then Gomer hiccupped again.
He tilted forwarded and landed on all four of his paws.
Gomer looked to the right and then to the left.  
Gomer, groaned, grunted, and growled.  
Then he hiccupped again.

He shook his chubby, chunky head from side to side.
He shuffled and stomped through the snarly wet smelling forest.             
He stopped at another gigantic tree.   
He stopped.  He sniffed. He straightened up.
Then Gomer hiccupped again.
He struggled and squirmed.  Then he backed up against the tree.
His bulky back was flat against the uneven bark.
Then, he slid down, down, down.
He slid until his big fat rump hit the ground with a loud earth-shaking thud.
Then, Gomer hiccupped again.
He twisted and tilted forwarded and landed on all four paws.
Gomer looked left then right and scratched the ground.
Gomer groaned, grunted, and growled.  
Then he hiccupped again.
He shook his colossal head from side to side.
He shuffled and stomped through the snarly wet smelling deep dark, dank forest.
Gomer stopped at another massive gigantic tree.
He looked up  -- way up -- at the old tree.
He moved closer, closer and closer.
He stopped.  He sniffed.
Suddenly, Gomer hiccoughed again!  
He stood up on his strong hind legs and backed up against the tree.
His burly, fat back was flat against it.
Then, he rubbed some more.                            
The massive old tree quaked.  
The branches swayed and waved.
The leaves twitched, twisted and trembled.
The massive old tree wavered, wobbled and then quaked some more.
Way up in the tree was a humungous beehive.
It swayed with the tree’s branches.
The beehive broke away from the branch and fell.
It swirled like a gigantic top and it landed right on Gomer’s head.
The bees sprang out and swarmed around Gomer’s head forming a halo of torture.
The bees nibbled, nipped, and they stung Gomer’s big massive head.
He stopped.  He straightened up.   He sniffed.  
Gomer hiccupped again.
He jiggled, and jolted, and then jogged down to the stream.   
Gomer belly flopped into the water.
The bees swarmed after him until he hit the water.
Gomer splattered and splashed in the water, sending spray high into the air.
Slowly, Gomer stopped.  He stood up in the water.
Gomer groaned, grunted, and groaned again.
He wiggled, waggled, wobbled and shook his gigantic shaggy, wet body.  
Water shot out all around Gomer like a gigantic Ferris wheel.
He looked to the right and then to the left.   
His huge furry, fuzzy head dropped to his chest.
He stood very still.  He waited.  And, he waited some more.
No hiccups!  No more hiccups!  His hiccups stopped.
Gomer bounced, bobbed, and bounded out of the water.
He loped up to a stately old tree.
He stretched way, way up on his strong hind legs and shook his massive head.
He backed up against the huge old tree.
His huge, flat, furry back lay flat against the old tree.
Then, he slid down, down, down until his big fat rump hit the ground with a loud thud.
Gomer gave a deep low slow sigh.
No more hiccups.  His head dropped to his chest.
He fell fast asleep with a gigantic smile on his big fat face.

© Barb Rumson 2020

 

The image at the top of this page is derived from an illustration of a Canadian bear, as published in 1881 in Canada; from the lakes to the gulf. ... A compendium of travel ... with ... illustrations, by Captain Mac.

 


NOAH'S WIFE - WHAT WAS HER JOB (a short selection from the story)

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